The Trail to Oregon! Ending: Mother Dies

The Trail to Oregon! Ending: Mother Dies

You, Mother No-o-o-o!! It’s alright family, it’s alright It’s just part of god’s act. Part of his will. We all know that god is a Vicious, two-faced prick That is right Now come here children, come quickly your mother is fading fast Now I want you to remember that your Mama gave her life for you and I wouldn’t have it any other way cause ya’ll are sweet as sugar – now gimme some of that Dad? You were a lousy father to me I know but you’re a pretty good Grandpa Take care of him, kids your Grandpa needs some help these days and you Jack Bauer this is your family now you have to lead them without me and you can do it! you have changed really? I have? well. Kind of a little bit! well, you know, enough to make me believe in ya but I swear, if you backslide I will fly down from god’s heaven and I will smack you into the Devil’s hell now, gather around, family and remember: When the darkness surrounds you and the light is all but out. There’s still fire deep inside you that will find the nearest route. [soft fart] It starts as a whisper you’ll hear a rumbling, an itching at your soul [faart] you can’t hold it any longer as the urge keep growing stronger and then you know [growling low fart] go you gotta go close your eyes, give it a shove [nice long, classic fart] go, you’ve gotta go it’s time to let go of your love [resonant fart] the time we had together is all that I have left [deep down fart] Go [fart], go [fart], go [fart]! till you can’t go anymore [long gross fucking fart]
Ugh. Ooh. oh Wait! I might just make it I’ve found my second wind the pain’s not bad I can take it i think i can hold it in! Help me to my feet! You will have to carry me. [gross-ass fart] Nope! Put me down! My limbs are growing weak is this the end I seek? [dolphin-call fart] Oooh I guess there’s more I saw a porcelain door But there’s one last thing to say so come real close You gotta go when you gotta go! It is time to get the hell out of here Wow! Go! You gotta go I don’t want a single tear I’ll always be inside you even when I’m all dried up [jesus christ] Go go go Till you can’t [Faaarraaaarraaart] [lawnmower fart] [spraying, airy fart] [toot] anymore. [devil fart] [honking fart] [guttering sputtering fart] [fart that sounds like a hose whipping around quickly] [more hose farts with some whimpering thrown in for good measure] [applause] No. This isn’t right we were supposed to make it to Oregon as a
family. And that’s exactly what we’re gonna do But Dad…Mom’s dead Dead or alive, we’re all gonna make it to
Oregon together. We’re not gonna give those watchers the satisfaction. NOT TODAY! Cmon. Help me. Damn you watchers. Damn you
all to hell. Look Slippery When Wet We all made it to Oregon. Together. [gasp] The Lord sent me back! Why, there I was at the pearly gates and St. Peter said to me: “Oh, Slippery When Wet, there is a fool family down there who is lost without you!” Mom… Did you fake dying of dysentery? [gasp] Now why would you say that? What kind of a mother do you think I am? Whether I was faking it or not is beside the point Cause I think we just learned what this trip really is about appreciating your mother a little bit more We will, honey Look everybody…the sun is rising over the great Willamette Valley. It’s beautiful. Dad…what are we gonna do now? Start anew. Claim a little plot of land for
ourselves. Yes children, it will be hard at first. But
very soon we will have a farm all our own with crops
as far as the eye can see. Yeah! And maybe we can finally get a cow for
that horny ox! [tortured voice] HAHAHYESPLEASE And who knows? I had a hell of a time robbing
that general store owner. Maybe I’ll take up the mantle of..The Bandit
King! Dad. Are you gonna live a life of crime now? Of course I am honey. That’s what this trip
is all about. Wait. Wait a minute…what’s this in my pocket? What is it dad? Well I’ll be…Cornwallis..You shickenkit
son of a bitch! Gather round family! He gave it back my fortune.. Just look! A million dollar bill! Do you know what this means family? No more farmin’ or starvin’ or rotten luck! That’s right, because we made it to Oregon
in one piece. But more importantly… WE’RE RICH!! And we know what that means! Come on buddy the waters just right so come on buddy lets have a water fight. Splashy splashy theres nothing more fun than dropping trow and getting some sun you can skinny if you’re fat or old put Marco Polo in a wrestling hold -theres his penis – all your problems wash away when you’re naked yeah you’re naked in a lake cmon guys! It’s super warm! Oh I don’t know about this! OK!!! Everybody jump in come and splash around feel the water between your toes Everybody swim take a mini vacay wearing only your birthday clothes I promise I won’t judge if you’ve got freckles or some pudge cause there’s just one way to spend the rest of the day getting naked yeah lets get naked get naked in a lake [All] Naked in a lake Naked in a lake Naked in a we’re naked in a lake Come on Mouthface I know you want to I can finally lose this dress! Come on Grandpa water’s good for you! I beat you to it my diaper’s wet! It’s nothing super sexual cause the act is nothing actual it’s time to free your little guy and let him play and have the time of your life starting today! Everybody jump in! come and splash around feel your body parts jingle-jangle everybody’s got fins! And super-cool when you’re kicking off your sandles If life ever gets you stressed find some woods and take a bath! And get naked [ahh] Yeah! Let’s get naked in a lake Yabba-dabba-doo! Let’s get naked Yeahh!! Let’s get naked in a lake [sweet 80’s era sax solo] They did it in ancient rome It’s everybody’s oldest story You can even do it alone just you in all your glory Everybody flip out Try to dunk your head, see how long you can
hold your breath. You can even use toys like a floating raft
for this H2Orgy fest You can do it in the dark but it’s way better when you see your parts! And I wouldn’t have it any other way being naked, yeah super naked we’re naked in a lake Naked in a lake Naked in a lake We are rich in Oregich But who cares? Cause we’re naked yeah we’re naked in a lake. Alright kids. Go pick out your favorite stretch
of land What about you, Dad? I’m right behind you. Come on Jack Bauer, the water’s just right… Be right there honey.

100 Replies to “The Trail to Oregon! Ending: Mother Dies”

  1. Anyone getting RENT vibes when she comes back to life? Not like completely but just the "Go back" part like …

    Spoilers if you haven't seen RENT(Which if you haven't what are you doing?)

    When Mimi comes back because Angel tells her to.

  2. Wait, did they do every ending for the audience, including the end of the end over and over? I'm super confused here.

  3. They should have had each of the family members die of a different Oregon Trail death — dysentery, measles, drowning, exhaustion, broken arm… (that last one – lol)

  4. Why is it that every time I hear Lauren say “splashy splashy” i lose it 😂

    (Meme) “my last two brain cells: “splashy splashy”

  5. So, did they run through every death during this performance? If this is the same family as the recorded version with all the same names, how did they do every death that night? Just going over all of them?

  6. I just realized the people that night had to hear both songs 5 times because in all of these they have the same names as the filmed and in the others that aren't filmed they got different names.

  7. Watching this a second time, Rachael’s portrayal of dysentery was the funniest at her death, although Jamie’s was the funniest in general ok bye.

  8. This show is perfect for all those moments when you're watching someone and you're like "Well, I would've done that a little differently but it's not my song"

  9. i’m really appreciating jamie’s vocals during end credits as i’m watching the different endings

  10. Okay, here's my ranking
    Father: Best dancing
    Mother: Most intense
    Son: Best vocals
    Daughter: Best plot-twist
    Grandpa: Most emotional

  11. WATCH. THIS. WITH. S U B T I T L E S !!!!
    [nice long, classic fart] (2:29)
    [long gross fucking fart] (2:56)
    [dolphin-call fart] (3:41)
    [jesus christ] (4:19)
    [faaarraaaarraaart] (4:29)
    [fart that sounds like a horse being whipped around quickly] (4:59)
    [more horse farts with some whimpering thrown in for good measure] (5:05)

  12. You know I'm pretty sure some of the endings after they wake up are the same. As in the EXACT SAME FOOTAGE. Am I crazy or am I right? Or am I both?

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